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Trước Tết nhận bài thím Minh và 1 người nữa là hết slot.

Còn lại sẽ sửa lỗi trình bày và diễn đạt ở các bài góp ý. Tầm 60 bài nên chắc không dư nhận thêm bài được.

[nguoinhen ver 99]

mình đang có 1 bài dissertation 15000 từ bác thớt có chữa grammar hộ đc ko=))

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Originally Posted by nguoinhen ver 99

mình đang có 1 bài dissertation 15000 từ bác thớt có chữa grammar hộ đc ko=))

Một lý do đơn giản khi mình chỉ nhận chữa Task 1 và 2 là vì tổng 2 thằng chỉ tầm 400.

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Topic:
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows the number of passengers arriving at a train station per hour across a day, and also the average price (in US dollars) of their tickets.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Answer:
The table provides statistics on passenger volumes (với những chỗ thế này chỉ nên dùng gives information about/ data on và the number of passengers) coming (nói về di chuyển hoặc dùng public transport không từ nào hay bằng travelling) to a train station per hour across a day (cụm này nên sửa thành at various times in a day/ on a daily basis) and also the average ticket cost (mình không chắc chỗ này dùng cost là hay vì từ này nghĩa khá rộng, chỉ nên là train ticket price).

Overall, what stands out from the table is that while the number of passengers and the average price of tickets are the highest at 12 pm, they are the lowest at 4 pm and 6 pm respectively. (xem bên dưới)

Regarding passenger volumes (không phải lúc nào cũng dùng regarding/ in terms of vì một bài chỉ nên dùng một lần), the number at 6 am is 480, climbing to 690 at 8 am before dropping to x. At 12 pm, there is a surge to the peak of 700 (đảo lại và dùng a peak là đủ rồi), followed by at plunge with (nếu phía trước dùng Danh Từ, chỗ này dùng Danh Từ cho phù hợp, ví dụ: a decline/ drop to/ of) 230 (sửa tương ứng) (muốn nhấn mạnh đáy thì dùng to the lowest point). There is an enormous rise to 670 at 6 pm before a sustained decline (chỗ rise nên chọn từ nào đó nói về đỉnh).

In terms of the average ticket cost, the price is $23 at 6 am, then there is an increase to $29. After the price reaches the peak at $31 at 12 pm, there is a low of $11 in ticket cost. A growth ($22) in the price of ticket is recorded at 8 pm before falling to $18 at 10 pm.

Nguyễn Kim Phượng

Có mấy điểm thế này:
1. Có một cách paraphrase đơn giản hơn là nói thẳng vào vấn đề 6am đến 10pm.
2. Về Overall, theo mình thì các phần này nên miêu tả theo thứ tự từ lớn xuống bé. Lớn nhất là xu hướng rồi mới tới lên hay xuống và sau cùng là thấp/ lớn nhất. Ở đây xu hướng chung là biến động (ví dụ various changes) nhưng có vẻ không phù hợp. Tiếp, có thể thấy là lượng khách lên đỉnh ở 3 mốc nhưng chỉ có 8am và 12pm là giá vé cao còn đỉnh 6pm thì giá vé rẻ. Cái này giống cấu trúc while cho Line Graph hoặc dùng excep for. Nếu chọn chi tiết này thì cũng được 1 câu 2 vế vì vậy nên cho mấy cái đỉnh xuống Body.
3. Bài này khá dễ về Body vì 1 thằng là số người, 1 thằng là giá vẻ. Vấn đề chỉ nằm ở việc chọn các điểm quan trọng để liệt kê (không cần toàn bộ). Body 1 bạn cần làm nổi bật vấn đề 3 đỉnh đông khách, gọi là 3 mốc cao điểm đi (dùng rush hours/ peak hours). Sau đó cứ nhắm 3 đỉnh này mà nói.

Suggested Version:

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Topic:
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.

Mobile telephones have brought many benefits but they have also had negative effects.

Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Write at least 250 words.



Answer:
Nowadays, the development of mobile telephones gives people many advantages. However, there are a lot of disadvantages brought when people use mobile phones. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my opinion on the matter.

On the one hand, there are several positive effects on using mobile phones. Firstly, the cutting-edge technology like mobile phones can offer opportunities for people to be better educated. This is because that people are able to study online subjects on websites in their domestic or another country. Besides, documents can be found easily through the mobile phone connected the Internet. Secondly, some functions on mobile phones can assist people to relax. People can listen to music or watch videos whenever they desire.

On the other hand, this idea has a few fundamental drawbacks. One problem is that the concentration can be decreased. For example, the person who is working or studying cannot focus on what he is doing if his phone bell ring many times. Another issue is that having mobile phones can make people lonelier. This is due to that most people contact with each other through their phone. Hence, the face-to-face communication is not usually used. In addition to this, many children and teenagers who are addicted game online stay at their home regularly instead of meeting or going out with their friends.

In conclusion, having mobile phones does not only bring convenience but also negative influences. Overall, I believe that there is a balance in benefits and drawbacks when people use mobile phones.

Nguyễn Kim Phượng

Có mấy điểm thế này:
1.

Suggested Version:

[EnihsChan]

Không biết bác còn chữa bài không nhỉ? Nếu có bác chữa dùm em bài này với :3

The given bar chart compares the proportion of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005. The chart groups the students according to subject and divided these subject groups into male and female. There are clear differences between two sexes.
The number of female which had chosen certain subject at university ranged from the highest number of almost 25 thousands to the lowest number of less than 5 thousands. It’s seem that female are more interesting in social subject such as social sciences, languages, literature while they are not quite fascinating in science subject such as sciences, mathematics. Overall, there are higher number of female who chose Social Sciences, Languages, The Arts than male do.
Nevertheless, contrast with female, male have a tendency to choose many subject relevant to science subject such as sciences, mathematic. The number of male who chose sciences and mathematics is nearly double and triple the number of female, alternatively. Surprisingly, there was one social subject that has larger number of male choosing than female and it is Literature, there are about more than 15 thousand male chose it and only more than 10 thousand female chose it. Another exception is Humanities, this subject has an equal number between male and female chose it.

[trunghq]

Originally Posted by EnihsChan

Không biết bác còn chữa bài không nhỉ? Nếu có bác chữa dùm em bài này với :3

The given bar chart compares the proportion of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005. The chart groups the students according to subject and divided these subject groups into male and female. There are clear differences between two sexes.
The number of female which had chosen certain subject at university ranged from the highest number of almost 25 thousands to the lowest number of less than 5 thousands. It’s seem that female are more interesting in social subject such as social sciences, languages, literature while they are not quite fascinating in science subject such as sciences, mathematics. Overall, there are higher number of female who chose Social Sciences, Languages, The Arts than male do.
Nevertheless, contrast with female, male have a tendency to choose many subject relevant to science subject such as sciences, mathematic. The number of male who chose sciences and mathematics is nearly double and triple the number of female, alternatively. Surprisingly, there was one social subject that has larger number of male choosing than female and it is Literature, there are about more than 15 thousand male chose it and only more than 10 thousand female chose it. Another exception is Humanities, this subject has an equal number between male and female chose it.

Đọc Nội Quy ngay.

[hunghung123]

Originally Posted by EnihsChan

Không biết bác còn chữa bài không nhỉ? Nếu có bác chữa dùm em bài này với :3

The given bar chart compares the proportion of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005. The chart groups the students according to subject and divided these subject groups into male and female. There are clear differences between two sexes.
The number of female which had chosen certain subject at university ranged from the highest number of almost 25 thousands to the lowest number of less than 5 thousands. It’s seem that female are more interesting in social subject such as social sciences, languages, literature while they are not quite fascinating in science subject such as sciences, mathematics. Overall, there are higher number of female who chose Social Sciences, Languages, The Arts than male do.
Nevertheless, contrast with female, male have a tendency to choose many subject relevant to science subject such as sciences, mathematic. The number of male who chose sciences and mathematics is nearly double and triple the number of female, alternatively. Surprisingly, there was one social subject that has larger number of male choosing than female and it is Literature, there are about more than 15 thousand male chose it and only more than 10 thousand female chose it. Another exception is Humanities, this subject has an equal number between male and female chose it.

Đưa hình đây may ra còn biết đc

Sent from my iPhone 5s using vozForums

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[Tuyển Sinh]

Địa Điểm: Số 9, Tổ 26, Hẻm 233/27/44, Đ. Xuân Thủy.

Sĩ Số: 5-7 người

Danh sách các lớp học:
~Vỡ Lòng 11 (1,200K/ 15 Buổi), Tối 3-5-7, Ca 1, 6h-7h15
~Sơ Cấp 18 (2,000K/ 20 Buổi), Tối 3-7, Ca 2, 7h30-9h
~Pre IELTS 1 03 (3,600K/ 30 Buổi), Tối 2-4-6, 6h30-8h30
~Viết Đoạn 08 (1,000K/ 10 Buổi), Sáng CN, 8h30-10h

2 lớp Vỡ Lòng và Sơ Cấp sẽ tuyển sớm trong tháng này.

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Đang chữa bài thím Phượng. Ai cần gửi tiếp nhé.