[radeonmaya]

Trên một chuyến bay, có 4 anh từ 4 nước khác nhau: Pháp, Mỹ, Campuchia và VN. Bỗng ... , chiếc máy bay gặp sự cố, yêu cầu khách nhảy dù. Nhưng trên máy báy chỉ có 3 cái dù... các anh tìm cách chia dù vì nếu 1 dù 2 ng thì sẽ rất nguy hiểm ... ko ai chia đc, chỉ có anh VN chia đc: "Mỹ, mày cầm dù, nhảy đi ! Pháp, mày cầm 1 cái, nhảy ! Campuchia cầm 1 cái, nhảy !" Anh Campuchia mừng wá nhảy trước. Trên này, anh Pháp và Mỹ hỏi tại sao VN lại ko nhảy, thật là anh dũng! VN nói: "Chết ! tao đưa lộn cái mùng cho thằng Campuchia !"

[duc4eyes]

Một ngày chủ nhật đẹp trời, châu chấu rủ ốc sên và rết đến nhà mình ăn nhậu. ăn uống được nửa chừng thì hết mất bia, chúng bàn nhau xem đứa nào sẽ đi mua bia tiếp. Ốc sên bảo "tớ bò chậm lắm nên sợ các cậu sẽ fải đợi lâu". Châu chấu thì nói "Tớ bay nhanh quá sợ bia sẽ bị xóc còn toàn bọt thôi". Thế là tất cả thống nhất để cho rết đi mua bia. Châu chấu và ốc sên ngồi nhà đợi, đợi mãi cả tiếng đồng hồ vẫn chưa thấy rết mang bia về. 2 đứa quyết định đi tìm. Ra đến cửa, chúng nhìn thấy rết vẫn đang cặm cụi ngồi .... mang giày !

[nhocyeunhac]

Hai ông bà già nọ có một cánh ðồng rất rộng lớn. Sau khi ông qua ðời, bà không ðảm ðương ðược công việc ðồng áng bèn thuê ngýời giúp việc. Ðể tránh ðiều tiếng không hay, bà chọn một anh chàng ðồng tính luyến ái.

Sau một vụ mùa bội thu, bà chủ nhà rất hài lòng, bèn mở tiệc chiêu ðãi tại một nhà hàng trong thị trấn. Dự tiệc có cả khách của bà và bạn bè của ngýời giúp việc.

Tiệc tàn, bà chủ nhà về nhà chờ rất lâu mới thấy ngýời giúp việc trở lại. Bà gọi anh ta vào phòng, dằn giọng nói:

- Tôi là chủ của cậu. Vì vậy, cậu phải thực hiện mọi yêu cầu của tôi, phải không?

- Vâng! - Ngýời giúp việc ðáp.

- Vậy thì, cởi giày của tôi ra!

Ngýời giúp việc cung cúc nghe lời.

- Cởi nốt tất nữa!

Anh ta lại làm theo.

- Cởi váy tôi ra!

Ngýời giúp việc ngoan ngoãn vâng lệnh.

- Cởi cả nịt ngực nữa!

Anh chàng nghe lời không chút phản kháng.

- Cởi nốt quần lót của tôi ra!

Mệnh lệnh lập tức ðược tuân theo.

Cuối cùng, bà chủ nói:

- Lần sau, cậu mà còn mặc quần áo của tôi ði ra khỏi cái nhà này là tôi ðuổi việc cậu ngay lập tức. Nghe chưa?

[Cupid®]

A man went to a strip club. When he got
inside he noticed a seat conspicuously
unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the
opportunity, he took the seat.
As soon as the first dancer walked out,
the guy directly behind him yelled, "Yeah
baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"
The man in the front row turned around
and gave him a dirty look. A few minutes
into the show, the dancer did a move and
snatched off her top, revealing two
pasties. The guy behind our friend goes
off again. "Yeah baby! Shake those
things."
Our friend turned around and said, "Hey
buddy, calm down!"
After a few moments, the dancer did
another move, and snatched off her
dress, revealing a very thin G-string.
Again the man behind our friend yelled out, "Oh baby! You're almost there!"
Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the hell up, will ya!"
A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and snatched off both the pasties and the
G-string, and the whole club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious, our friend
turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your enthusiasm now?"
The guy responded, "It's all over your back, dude."

[Cupid®]

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."
She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand.
She asks him what they are. He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat
like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told
me the exact meaning.
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him...pussy and bitch. Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."

[emtraisieunhan]

Originally Posted by Cupid®

A man went to a strip club. When he got
inside he noticed a seat conspicuously
unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the
opportunity, he took the seat.
As soon as the first dancer walked out,
the guy directly behind him yelled, "Yeah
baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"
The man in the front row turned around
and gave him a dirty look. A few minutes
into the show, the dancer did a move and
snatched off her top, revealing two
pasties. The guy behind our friend goes
off again. "Yeah baby! Shake those
things."
Our friend turned around and said, "Hey
buddy, calm down!"
After a few moments, the dancer did
another move, and snatched off her
dress, revealing a very thin G-string.
Again the man behind our friend yelled out, "Oh baby! You're almost there!"
Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the hell up, will ya!"
A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and snatched off both the pasties and the
G-string, and the whole club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious, our friend
turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your enthusiasm now?"
The guy responded, "It's all over your back, dude."

Đọc mãi mới luận ra...ông kia cum vào người thằng này

[Cupid®]

Goldie was sitting on a beach in Florida, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers.

"Hello, sir," she said, "Do you like movies?"

"Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

Goldie persisted. "Do you like gardening?"

The man again looked up from his book. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.

Undaunted, Goldie asked. "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Goldie, ravaging her as she'd never been ravaged before.

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie dragged herself to
a sitting position and panted, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man thought for a moment and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

[Cupid®]

A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this
sex problem, doc". "Well", says the quack, "Tell
me about your average day". "Well, it all starts in
the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me
up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about
5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours
making love before I go to work".
"Oh I see", said the doc. "No, hang on", said the
man,"...you see, when I get on the train to work I
meet this girl every day and we get a
compartment to ourselves and have sex all the
way there".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No you don't",
said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary
really fancies me and I have to give her one in the
storeroom".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No no no", he
said. "When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady
I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a
quickie".
"Now I understand", said the patient doctor. "No,
hang on", said the bloke. "When I get back to
work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll
give me the sack".
Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..". "No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is
so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".
"What's your problem?". asked the doc. "Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate"

[Cupid®]

truyện này thì éo đỡ được


A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His
grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time....and maybe do it several times a day.

Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month.

When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year....maybe on your anniversary.

The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?"

His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."

"What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked.

"Well," grandpa said, "She goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. And she yells, "Fuck You", and I holler back, "Fuck you too."

[amdsempron]

Theory is when you know something but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works but you don't know why. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.